Day 31 and 32

I'm suppose publish a post everyday but I'm failing at it.  When I started this weight loss journey I never set a goal and I had not idea why I wanted to do this.  I was just tired of being fat and buying clothes in the plus size department.  I think that is the main reason why I keep failing at it.  My reason for losing weight has to be more than just for superficial reasons.  I have to make a commitment to get healthy.  I don't have any health problem such as high blood pressure, diabetes or high cholesterol etc.  I don't want to develop any health problems as I get older so I need to start doing something now.

Day 32

Wow, it's been more than 30 days since I started back on my weight loss journey.  I did not do well last week.  I haven't worked out for a while and I'm not eating healthy.  I ate so much fried foods this past week that I gained back all the weight I have lost this year.  I am back in the 250's.

5/29/12
Breakfast
2 strips of bacon, 1 scrambled egg, 1 whole wheat bagel
16 oz cup of ice coffee with 4 packets of splenda and 1 tbsp of half and half

Lunch
3 oz of grilled chicken
3 cups of salad green (spring salad mix)
1 tsp of olive oil
1 oz fried fish
1/4 cup of wild rice with beans, cranberries and nuts
sugar free jello cup with whipped cream

Day 31

5/28/12

I spent the holiday doing laundry.  That's fine because I spent most of the weekend just relaxing and getting my mind right.

Breakfast:

8 oz of green machine

1 banana

lunch

10 fried wonton

12 oz of pepsi

snack

2 tbsp of peanut butter and greek yogurt mix with 2 strawberries

Dinner

1 cup of brown rice

1 cup of beef and turkey chili with beans

1 cup of broccoli

1 tsp of reduce fat cheese

Ate dinner so early that I had to eat something after I went for 2.5 mile walk.

10 baked shrimp with 1/4 cup of broccoli and red potatoes
3 sugar free peanut butter cups

Day 30

5/27/12

It's Sunday and tomorrow is a holiday so no work.  I'm excited about that.  Tomorrow is the day I start anew with my weight loss journey.  I plan to workout everyday this week, even if it's just going for a walk.  Walking 3 miles is more than enough exercise for a day.

I'm not even going to say what I ate today because it was out of control.

Day 29

5/26/12

It's official, spring has arrived in NYC.  It is hot and humid today, but I'm not complaining.  The rain was bringing me down and making me depressed.  Emotionally I'm having a good day today but nutritionally I'm having a bad day.

I ate 3 pastelitos for breakfast.  A pastelitos is a pastry type thing that is stuffed with either cheese, meat or chicken and then deep fried until it's golden, yum.  I had 2 cheese and 1 beef with a large ice coffee from dunkin donuts with 4 packets of splenda.  For lunch I had french fries with 10 fried shrimp and 1 serving of banana pudding that I bought from Magnolia bakery.

Day 28

Today I feel so stressed and depressed.  Can you feel both these things at the same time?  Even though I only have to work 3.5 hours today it seems like a long time.  I just want to go home and hide under my covers.

I did not track my food today.  Taking the weekend off and starting new on Monday.  Hopefully I will have my mind right by Monday.

Day 27

I didn't work out today because I realize I'm depressed.  I cried for 1 hour straight, I couldn't stop.  Tomorrow is only have to work until 12:30 pm

5/24/12
Breakfast
1 Whole grain bagel, 1 scrambled egg, 2 strips of maple turkey bacon
12 oz coffee with 3 tsp of raw sugar and 2 tbsp of sugar free creamer

Lunch
2 cups of salad greens (spring salad mix)
3 oz of grilled chicken
1/4 cup of wild rice mixed with beans
1 taco with cheese and jalapeno pepper
1 oz of fried fish

Snack
3 golden oreo cakesters (33 gm of sugar)

Dinner
3/4 lbs of baked shrimp
3.5 servings of swedish fish

late night snack
1 serving of pop chips parmesan cheese flavor
1 sugar free peanut butter cup

Day 26

5/23/12
Breakfast
1 whole wheat bagel, 1 scrambled egg, 2 strips of maple turkey bacon
12 oz coffee with 3 teaspoons of raw sugar, 2 tbsp of sugar free creamer

Lunch
3 cups of salad greens (spring salad mix)
1 tbsp of olive oil
3 oz of grilled chicken
1 taco with meat and bean mixed with cheese and jalapeno peppers
1 jello-o sugar free pudding

Snack
Fat free strawberry banana yogurt
1/4 cup of granola

Dinner
1 can of boneless and skinless sardines in olive oil
17 water crackers
3 servings of swedish fish

Day 25

Someone posted a video today regarding people who say they are happy being overweight.  Yesterday I posted about trying to accept the fact that I will never lose this weight.  You know, after seeing that video, it reminded me why I started this weight loss journey in the first place.  I want to be able to go into any store any buy clothes.  Right now I am subjected to plus size stores only or the largest size in old navy and sometimes that size is too tight.

I'm not going to weight myself for 1 week, so my next weigh in will be Monday, 5/28.  I think I'm discouraging myself by weighing so often.  I weigh every day.  Maybe if I try not to focus so much on losing the weight and just doing what I know I need to do, then the weight will come off.

5/22/12
Breakfast
2 strips of maple turkey bacon, 1 scrambled egg, 1 whole wheat bagel
12 oz of coffee with 2 tbsp of sugar free creamer with 2 packets of splenda

Lunch
3 cups of salad greens (spring salad mix)
1 tbsp of olive oil
3 oz of grilled chicken
1.5 oz of baked salmon
1/4 cup of wild rice mix with veggies

Snack
1 jolly time 100 calorie healthy popcorn
1 package of sugar wafers (2.5 servings, 36 grams of sugar)


Dinner
1 slice of pizza
5 garlic knots
1 serving of swedish fish

I'm feeling depressed and I'm not sure why.  I'll have to figure it out.  This happens to me a lot.  I'm carb overloading because I'm stressing.  I need to do better!

Day 22, 23 & 24

I did not write down what I ate all weekend long.  I was not very good with my eating.  I had pizza, an apple fritter and candy.  Yeah I'm my own worst enemy, but that's alright because the only person I'm hurting is me.  I'm not doing to good on this journey right now.  I'm feeling a little sorry for myself because I can't control my eating.  Also, I'm not trying very hard to control it.

5/21/12
Breakfast
1 egg white omelette with mushrooms, peppers and spinach, 2 strips of bacon, 3 pieces of home fries and 3 pieces of imitation crab meat
12 oz coffee with 2 tbsp of sugar free creamer with 2 packet of Splenda

Lunch
Lamb meat over basmati rice with vegetables, salad greens with vegetables, greek white sauce
1 jell-o sugar free pudding cup

Snack
1 apricot

Dinner
1 slice of pizza
2 servings of swedish fish

Something needs to give I either have to learn to accept the fact that I will never be at a normal weight or stop feeling sorry for myself and get on the ball.

Day 21

It's day 21 and I have not lost a lb.  I have gained since starting back writing this blog.  Time of the month came and I have not lost the weight I gained during that time.  My body has a hard time letting go of the bloating that I get during the time of the month.  I was very careful with my food intake but I was not watching my sodium and that could be the reason why I gain every month.

Breakfast
1 honey wheat bagel, 1 tbsp. of fat free cream cheese, 2 strips of maple turkey bacon
12 oz of coffee with 2 tbsp of sugar free creamer and 2 packets of splenda

Snack
1/2 medium banana

Lunch
Mixed salad greens
2.5 oz of grilled chicken
3 fried calamari rings
1 fried wingette
1 fried shrimp

Snack
1/2 medium banana
1 Archer Farms strawberry cheesecake fat free yogurt

Dinner
really didn't have dinner because I went to pick up a few items from Target for my son.  I had a bag of beef jerky from Target.  Also, had a piece of pizza and a granola bar (sweet & salty with yogurt).

Day 20, I think?

Not sure what day I'm on but I'm going to start putting the date somewhere in my post.  This would make it easier when I go back to read them.

5/17/12

Breakfast
1 whole wheat bagel, 2 strips of maple turkey bacon, 1 scrambled egg
12 oz coffee with 2 tbsp. sugar free creamer and 2 packets of splenda

Snack
1/2 medium banana

Lunch
2.5 cups of salad
1/4 cup of wild rice with beans and veggies
2.5 oz of grilled chicken
1 fried wingette
.5 oz of beef
1.5 oz of baked turkey breast
1 Jell-o sugar free pudding cup

Snack
1/2 medium banana

Dinner
1/2 baked shrimps
4 oz baked salmon

Snack
1 oz of sweet potato chips
1 oz of pop corners
1 skinny cow chocolate clusters

I really need to eat something, such as a yogurt, around 4 pm.  I couldn't get up the strength to workout because I was hungry when I got home after work.  The days that I had something to eat before I got home I was able to workout.

I also need to cut back on the amount of sodium I'm having.

It's a new day

Breakfast
1 scrambled egg, 2 strips of maple turkey bacon, 1 whole wheat bagel
12 oz coffee with sugar free creamer and 2 packets of splenda

Snack
Half a medium banana

lunch
3 oz of steamed lobster tail
2 oz of grilled chicken
1.5 oz of baked salmon
1.5 oz of taco meat with cheese
7 steamed shrimp (medium)
2 oz of fettuccine
2 cups of salad with olive oil
1 vegetable tempura
1 Jell-o whipped caramel jello

Snack
Archer Farms fat free yogurt (banana cream pie)
1/2 medium banana

Dinner
1/2 serving of sweet potato chips
1/4 cup of roasted and salted peanuts
6 baked shrimp

Workout
Turbo Jam cardio party remix

Lost track of the days

Today is Tuesday, May 15th.  I have not made a post in a few days because I was feeling a little down and didn't have anything I wanted to say in this blog.  I was sorting out some feelings and getting myself out of the funk I was in.

I need to put more effort into updating my resume. I'm so fed up with having to deal with my boss.  She tries to make everyone feel so stupid and this makes me so angry.  My attitude is fuck it when it comes to my work. I'm starting to do things that will cause me to lose my job but I really don't care and I know I should.  I need to put more effort into updating my resume and starting a serious job search.  I can't afford to lose my job right now.

Breakfast:
1 hard boiled egg, 2 strips of maple turkey bacon, 1 cup of steamed broccoli
12 oz coffee with sugar free creamer and 2 packets of splenda

Lunch
2.5 cups of salad
1.5 oz of salmon
2 oz of grilled chicken
1/3 cup of wild rice with beans and dried cranberries
1 fried wingette
1 steamed veggie dumpling
1 sugar free jello pudding (dulce de leche flavor)

Snack
Archer Farms fat free banana cream pie yogurt
1/4 cup of granola

Dinner
1 cup of whole grain pasta
1 cup of spinach
3.5 oz baked chicken breast
1/4 cup of Alfredo sauce

Snack
1/4 cup of roasted and salted peanuts
1 medium banana
Skinny Cow ice cream bar
5 sugar free reese's peanut butter cups

Workout:
Turbo Fire HIIT 20

Day 17

Breakfast 9:00 am
Whole Wheat bagel, 1 scrambled egg, 3 strips of bacon
coffee with 2 packet of Splenda and 2 tbsp of sugar free creamer

Lunch 1:00 pm
2 cups of yellow basmati rice
1 cup of grilled chicken
1 cup of grilled lamb meat
1 cup of salad with tomato, black olives and corn
2 tbsp of white sauce
1/2 cup of frozen yogurt (white chocolate macadamia)
1 tbsp of oreos

Snack 3:30 pm
1.5 cups of grapes

Don't know what I had for dinner because I forgot to come back and update this post after work.

Day 15 & 16

I did not post yesterday because I was dealing with too many things to write a blog post.

Breakfast
1 glazed donut
12 oz coffee with 2 packets of Splenda and 2 tbsp of sugar free creamer

Lunch:
Med. french fries, spicy chicken sandwich, 4 piece nuggets (from McDonalds)

Dinner:
4 fried chicken wings with hot sauce, 1 cup of pork fried rice, 5 fried wontons with hot sauce

Snack:
1 serving of hot air buttered popcorn

Today is a different day so I'm putting yesterday out of the my mind.  I ate bad yesterday because I wanted to.  I was feeling a little sorry for myself and the situations that are going on in my life right now.  I hate not being able to control things that are occurring in my life.

Breakfast 9:00 am
vegetable egg white omelette, 2.5 strips of bacon, 1/4 cup of home fries
12 oz coffee with 2 packets of Splenda and 2 tbsp of sugar free creamer

Snack
1 pack of Skinny Cow chocolate cluster
1 peanut butter chocolate bear
1 apple

Lunch: 1:00 pm
3 cups of salad with olive oil dressing
4 fried calamari rings
2 fried wingettes
1 oz of grilled chicken
1 oz of grilled salmon

Snack 4:00 pm
1 bosc pear
1 bag of Jolly time 100 calorie kettle corn popcorn
1 raisin spice bun

Dinner 7:30 pm
2 oz of baked salmon
7 baked shrimp
1 cup of baked broccoli

Workout
Turbo Fire HIIT 20

Day 14

The weekend is over.  I went to the DMV this morning and I was surprise that I was in and out of there.  The to get a number was a bit long, I waited about 20 minutes, but my number was called right away.   I called my boss to say I was running late and when I got to work she took the day off.

I didn't work out this weekend, but I'm not falling back into my old habits.  I felt a little nauseous Friday night because I tried to work out after having dinner about 1 hour before.  I'll never do that again, I need to workout before I eat.

Breakfast 9:30 am
1 whole wheat bagel
1 scrambled egg
3 strips of bacon
12 oz coffee with 2 tbsp of sugar free creamer and 2 packets of Splenda

Lunch 1:00 pm
3 cups of salad greens with olive oil dressing
1/2 cup of bean salad with wild rice
4 fried calamari rings
1 cup of frozen yogurt (vanilla and mint chocolate chip)

Snack:  4:00 pm
Chobani Yogurt with granola

Dinner 7:30 pm
Lean Cuisine Tortilla Crusted Fish
1 oz Utz Sweet Potato chips

Workout:
Turbo Fire 45

I was doing some soul searching over the weekend because of a video I watched on youtube.  I think I sabotage my weight loss because I'm afraid of the attention it will bring.  I hate negative attention, it cause me to cuss people out, yeah like literally tear them a new one.  I know that negative comments are a fact of life but I have a hard time accepting that fact.  I love me, and I really don't care what other people think about me, as long as they keep their opinions to themselves.  I want to be a normal size but I don't want the attention that comes with it.  People asking you if you lost weight and waiting to see how long it's going to take for you to gain it back.  I need to work on getting over this fear so I can stop sabotaging my weight loss goals.

Day 12 and 13 - It's the weekend

I woke up this morning and I'm still 247 which is a good thing.  The weekend is here and hopefully I can control my eating.

I went to the storage place Saturday morning.  My storage unit is located above another unit so I have to climb a ladder to get my things in and out of the unit.  I got a really workout moving thing around to get the shelving unit out.  I also walked about a quarter mile pushing a shopping cart up hill to get home.  I then put the unit together.

I tried to workout last night about 1 hour after I ate dinner.  That was a bad idea because half way through the workout I started to feel nauseous.  Lesson learned, I cannot workout for at least 2-3 hours after a big meal.

Breakfast on Saturday & Sunday
1 1/2 home made waffles
4 strip of maple turkey bacon
coffee with sugar free creamer and 2 packet of Splenda

Lunch:
Saturday
2 oz of canned chicken breast with olive oil mayo
15 whole wheat ritz crackers

Sunday
10 baked shrimp
1 oz baked salmon

Dinner
Saturday
3 oz of bake salmon
10 baked shrimp
1 cup of broccoli

1 cup of Chinese chicken and broccoli in garlic sauce
10 fried wonton with hot sauce
1/2 cup of white rice

Cup of noodles

Day 11

It's Friday!!!  I'm so happy to see the end of the week, I'm tired and want to sleep late.

I'm redecorating my room this weekend.  I have a 4 or 5 tier shelving unit in storage and I realize the other day that I would be a better fit in my room than the weak wooden shelf I have now.  I can't wait to put it together.  I think it will make my room look a lot less cluttered.  Yes, I'm a grown woman living in a room.  It's a long story why I'm living in a room but this situation is just temporary until I can get my finances together and find a better paying job.  Rent is expensive in NYC, a 1 bedroom or studio apartment goes for about $1100 a month and that's not including utilities.

Breakfast 9:00 am
1 honey wheat raisin bagel with 1 tbs of low fat cream cheese
1 boiled egg
12 oz of brewed coffee with 2 Splenda packets and 2 tbsp of sugar free creamer

Snack 10:30 am
1 cup of grapes

Lunch 1:00 pm
3 cups of salad greens with 1 tsp of cheese and raspberries
6 fried calamari rings
1 fried shrimp
1 oz of grilled chicken
1 oz of grilled salmon
1 cup of vanilla frozen yogurt with 1 tsp of crushed oreos

Snack 4:00 pm
1/4 cup of granola with almond
Chobani greek yogurt orange and vanilla flavor

Dinner 8:00 pm
4 oz baked salmon
8 medium baked shrimp
1 cup of baked broccoli

Day 10

I did not want to come to work today, but I'm happy that I did.  My boss scheduled a team meeting for late in the day.  The meetings are scheduled for 1 hour but she goes on and on and on.  She loves to beat a dead horse.  When I got in this morning I got an e-mail from her asking me to cancel the meeting because she has to leave early for an appointment, hooray!!!!

I feel a little sore this morning from doing the 30 day shred last night.  I'm going to do level one for 1 week and them move on to level 2.   I weighed myself this morning, I lost 2.4 lbs. hooray!!!  I'm going to keep working out every day except Sunday and hopefully by the end of this months I will lose at least 10 lbs.  If I lose more my excitement level is going to be through the roof.

Breakfast 9:00 am
1/2 cup of broccoli
1/4 cup of home fries
1/4 cup of imitation crab meat with shrimp
2 strips of bacon
1 hard boiled egg
12 oz coffee with 2 packet of Splenda

Lunch 1 pm
2 cups of salad greens with spinach and olive oil (.5 tbsp)
1/4 cup of wild rice with dried cranberries, beans and nuts
1 oz of grilled chicken
6 fried calamari rings
1.5 oz of grilled salmon
.5 oz of steam sweet plantain
1 steam vegetable dumpling
1 cup of frozen yogurt (new york cheesecake with 1 tsp of crumpled oreo)

Dinner 7:00 pm
3 oz Turkey breast packed in water (Berkley & Jensen) with olive oil mayo
20 Carr's salt and pepper water crackers
2 oz. Utz kettle classics sweet potato chips made with pure peanut oil

Snack
3 serving of air popped popcorn
1 slice of low sodium swiss cheese
2 slices of honey roasted turkey
1 skinny cow milk chocolate dreamy cluster

I realized tonight that if I don't eat something between lunch and dinner I will want to snack after dinner.  Tonight I had a bad dinner to begin with and then I continued to spiral out of control.  I want to get the night time eating under control.

I struggled through my workout tonight.  I did Turbo Fire 30, which I've done several times before.  I know all the steps but I just couldn't seem to put 110% into the workout.  I think I put about 90% into it.  Which is better than nothing at all.

Day 9

I'm so tired of wearing a t-shirt and jeans to work.  I want to wear a nice outfit, but I'm just not comfortable in my skin right now to wear something nice.  Some days I feel like this weight will never come off because I can't control myself when it comes to snacks.  Last night I had a 1/2 serving (.5 oz) of pop chips and then I ate 1 serving (1 oz) of Utz cheese curls.  I finished the bag of cheese curls and don't plan on buying more anytime soon.

Breakfast 9:00 am
1/2 cup of broccoli
1/4 cup of home fries
1/4 cup of imitation crab with shrimp
2 strips of bacon
1 hard boiled egg
12 oz coffee with 2 packet of Splenda and 1/2 tbsp of cafe al fresco caramel syrup

Lunch 1 pm
2 cups of salad greens with cilantro, spinach and olive oil (.5 tbsp)
1/4 cup of brown rice with dried cranberries, beans and nuts
1 oz of grilled chicken
6 fried calamari rings
1 oz of grilled salmon
.5 oz of steam sweet plantain
1 steam vegetable dumpling
1 cup of frozen yogurt (new york cheesecake with 1 tsp of crumpled oreo)

I've started telling myself on my way home from work that I have to workout tonight.  If I don't do that I won't workout.  I'll get in the house, get on the Internet and then I'm done for the night.  Last night my son called me during my workout, I had to walk around in a circle so that my muscles didn't get cold.  I was really enjoying the workout and I wind up going for an extra set of the HIIT 15.

Dinner 8:00 pm

2 oz Turkey breast packed in water (Berkley & Jensen) with olive oil mayo
17 Carr's salt and pepper water crackers
2 oz. Utz kettle classics sweet potato chips made with pure peanut oil

Snack 10 pm
Skinny Cow milk chocolate dreamy clusters

Tonight I did Jillian Michael's 30 day Shred level 1 as my workout. I made it through the entire video with a few modifications.  I can't do a jumping jack because it hurts my knees to do them.  During the jumping jacks I ran in place instead.  I can't wait until I reach my next goal of 239 so I can buy my heart rate monitor.

Day 8

I have a real addiction to food.  After I eat I keep feeling like I need more.  I know I just ate a serving size of food but I still want more.  I've tried eating slowly but that doesn't work.

I'm still eating bacon, just can't seem to control that craving.

Breakfast 9:00 am
1/4 cup of steamed broccoli
1/4 cup of imitation crab and shrimp
1/4 cup of home fries
2 strips of bacon

Lunch 1 pm
2 cups of salad greens with spinach and olive oil (1 tbsp)
1/4 cup of wild rice with dried cranberries, bean and nuts
1 oz of beef
2.5 oz of grilled chicken
6 fried calamari rings
.5 oz of roast pork
.5 oz of steam sweet plantain
1 cup of frozen yogurt (chocolate and vanilla with 1 tsp of crumpled oreo)

Snack 3 pm
Jolly Time 100 Calorie Healthy pop kettle corn

Snack 4 pm
Chobani Champions orange vanilla yogurt with 1/4 cup granola

Dinner 8:00 pm
2 oz Turkey breast packed in water (Berkley & Jensen) with olive oil mayo
10 Carr's salt and pepper water crackers
2 cup of salad greens
1 tbsp of dried cranberries
2 tbs of ranch dressing
1 oz. Utz kettle classics sweet potato chips made with pure peanut oil

Workout:
Turbo Fire HIIT 15 min.

I took 17551 steps today, this is high.  It's not the highest but it's high.  I'm so proud of myself.  I think the motivational board and setting a goal of 239 by June 1st is working for me.